how not to pull a sickie - the smoak way
by Befham
Summary: Pulling a sickie is almost impossible when your boss is also your overprotective boyfriend.


**No idea where this came from, but after 2x20 I needed something light and fluffy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Arrow. If I did, shit like this would be happening.**

II

It was a Monday morning when Felicity Smoak decided to pull her first ever sickie.

After two days of tracking down a human trafficking ring with little to no sleep and barely any food, the last thing that Felicity felt like doing was going into work. So when the alarm goes off on that dreary Monday morning, Felicity rolls back over and thinks about her options. She could go into work, after all her job is hardly rocket science.

Or she could call in sick.

_Don't be so stupid. You can't call in sick._

_Can't I?_

She wouldn't dare to. She had never called in sick before, let alone called in fake sick.

Besides, she didn't want to deceive Oliver. Surely he would know that she is lying.

But she is so _tired!_

She stares at her phone for five minutes until he decision is finally made.

It takes fifteen minutes to decide what she is going to say. She even writes it down.

She spends ten minutes practicing her fake sick voice, all nasally and croaky.

She is a part of team arrow. She knows all about mission preparation. She can totally do this.

So with a twinge of guilt, Felicity picks up her phone and dials her boss.

"Felicity? What's wrong?" his panicked voice fills her ears when he answers.

All of her carefully planned preparation flies out of the window, and Felicity panics._ Oh my god. He knows. Just act cool. Everything will be fine. _"Nothing! Everything is completely fine. I am fine. I am better than fine. I'm cool. As cool as a cucumber. There is absolutely nothing wrong."

_Smooth._

There's an awkward pause. "Okay," Oliver says hesitantly. She can picture his furrowed brow as he tries to work out what's going on with her. It is an expression that he wears frequently around her. "Then why are you calling? We're going to be seeing each other in less than twenty minutes."

"I'm sick. I don't think it's a good idea that I come into work today."

Silence. "You don't sound sick."

Crap. She coughs in what she hopes in a convincing manner. "Er- yeah. I'm really sick. Like I think that I might be dying." She coughs again. "So, yeah. I should stay at home. I'm probably contagious."

"Felicity you sound like you're being strangled by a snake. Do you want me to come over?"

"NO! Do not come over!"

There's an even longer silence. "Okay," Oliver says stiffly.

Felicity sighs and softly says, "I'm sorry. I would love for you to come over and take care of me, but you're the reluctant CEO of a major company. As much as I want to spend all day in bed with you taking care of me, you can't. What would the board say if they found out that Oliver Queen pulled a sickie so he could take care of his assistant/girlfriend? Besides," Felicity says and tries to crush down the guilt she feels at lying. "I'm totally gross right now. There's tissues and tears and snot. Seeing me this way may just ruin our sex life."

The warm chuckle she receives brings a smile to her face for the first time all morning. Even now, it's rare to hear Oliver laugh. "Okay, okay. Point taken. Will you be okay?"

"Sure. I have tissues and vapo rub and lozenges and I have loads of tv to catch up on. I'll be fine."

There's another long silence. Felicity grips her phone tighter. "You know that there is no amount of tissues and snot in the world that would ruin our sex life right?"

Felicity laughs. "You say that now, Mr Queen. You should go. I'll talk to you later."

Oliver sighs reluctantly. "Okay. I love you, you know?"

Felicity blinks in surprise and whispers, "I love you too." She hangs up, stares at her phone for a full minute before she realises that she has gotten away with it. A delighted smile crosses her lips, and after sparing a guilty thought for leaving Oliver in the lurch at QC, she happily dances around her bedroom until exhaustion consumes her again. She doesn't spare a thought for Oliver or QC when she climbs into bed and lets sleep take her.

II

She has been Oliver Queen's girlfriend for over a year now. She knows him almost better than she knows herself. So really, it's her own fault that she didn't see it coming.

II

She takes a long bath, uses bubbles and bath salts for the first time in months. She even reads a chapter of her long forgotten book.

She puts on nothing but a shirt that Oliver has left behind.

For breakfast she eats ice cream.

She watches two episodes of Doctor Who and an episode of Supernatural.

It is the most relaxing morning that she has ever had.

It's around lunchtime that she plugs in her ipod and dances around the room.

She doesn't hear the knock on the door.

She doesn't hear Oliver's concerned voice calling her name.

But she does hear the crash of the door when it is kicked open.

She screams. Memories of Slade Wilson flash through her mind, so when she grabs the lamp next to her and throws it at the intruder with surprising accuracy, it is completely instinctual.

It's only when Oliver gives a surprised yell and ducks out of the way that she realises that there is no intruder, only a concerned boyfriend.

They stare at one another. Felicity stares at her broken door.

"What the hell did you do?!"

Oliver's eyes widen in surprise. "Me? I came to bring my _sick _girlfriend lunch because I was worried that you wouldn't feel like cooking!" His voice is low and growly. If it wasn't for the suit, Felicity would have thought that he had come to tell her that _she has failed this city._ "Then when you didn't answer the door I got worried that you'd passed out or something so I kicked it open-"

"Oliver you have a key."

"So not the point right now. You're supposed to me sick, remember? I expect to find you passed out on the kitchen floor but instead your dancing around in my shirt!"

He's looking with her with his steely blue eyes which makes her shuffle her feet nervously. "Er. I got better?"

"Within four hours?"

"Yes?" she squeaks.

Oliver rolls his eyes. "Felicity-"

"I was tired, okay?" Oliver blinks in confusion, as if he does not know what tiredness is. Hell, maybe he doesn't, tiredness is a weakness that Oliver Queen cannot afford to have. "I was so exhausted after how we spend our nights," Oliver's eyebrows lift in surprise. Felicity flushes. "Not like that. Not sex. Sex doesn't tire me out. Well, it does when you want to go at it all night which I love by the way and you have really good stamina so it does go on all night and oh my god please shut me up now. My point is, with everything going on in QC and the Arrow, I just wanted one day to myself where I didn't have to be Oliver Queen's assistant or the Arrows IT girl. I'm sorry that I lied, okay? I'm a bad assistant and a bad girlfriend-"

"You could have just asked."

Felicity blinks at him. "What?

"If you're tired you could have just asked for the day off."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"It was that simple?"

Oliver shrugs. "It was that simple."

"Oh. _Oh."_

Oliver steps closer to her until their bodies are inches from each other. "Felicity, I know how hard you work. You're entitled to take some time off if that's what you want. You don't have to lie about it."

Felicity closes the distance between them and kisses them. "You're brilliant, Oliver Queen. I'm sorry I lied to you. Maybe the next time I pull a sickie I can convince you to pull one too."

"You do know that faking illness to get a day off is grounds for dismissal, right? If HR finds out-"

"Shut up you broke my door. We're even."

II

"Hi, this is Oliver Queen. Cancel all of my afternoon meetings. I've suddenly come down with the worst cold.."


End file.
